I'm back


I'm back from our NC vacation with the girls and the beach.
It was great.. we are all tan with sand still in our shoes.
The hardest part of the whole vacation was the flight.
I am getting worse and worse about flying.
They need to make everyone sleep on the plane,
like in the "The Fifth Element"
The girls were great through out whole ordeal.

Mira is turning 5 tomorrow. I am planning a party for Saturday,
sans the Diggs. This will be Mira's first birthday without them, sob.
They are sooooo missed.

I would like to first say that the following rant is highly personal, and
if you dont know me... well... here is a little slice of my emotional pie.

Well, since the last emotional terrorist attack, my mom,
is quietly plotting her next episode.
I am sure that before I return to Cincinnati for Lisa's wedding,
my mother will emotionally suicide bomb me a couple more times.
She starts missing my kids, her jihad, and has to get fanatical.
Merriam-Websters defines my mother as
"Possessed with or motivated by excessive, irrational zeal."
I think she is just pissed because, my Dad and Lisa have handled
Lisa and her wedding with the way more respect and consideration
than when Mom handled my wedding.
I, myself, felt terrible about the way it played out.
It's hard to believe that I let her terrorize me for so long.
What irks me most about Mom, beside her fanaticism, is that she thinks
this type of behavior is ok.
That her inability to move forward emotionally means
everyone has to lower themselves to her level for her acceptance.
It's like she misses my kids, but cant bring herself to apologize to me for
that terrible things she says or does. Yet expects me to allow her to see
the girls.
So I ask you, isnt there enough hate and bitterness out there? Do I need
my kids to carry my mother emotional baggage? How much therapy do I
have to have to work this out? and will my insurance cover it?


we walked around yesterday, all day, talking about mira and missing the birthday. That sucks i never thought of it in terms that we had never missed her b-day. make sure you give her an extra special hug for us.

as for your therapy...
rolling rock has so great sessions and you dont need insurance. tell you mom, i might have to sit down and have a chat with her.

Your kids shouldn't have to put up with the bull, however, it is important that they know their family, so you'll probably just have to find a medium somewhere that keeps your sanity, allows your kids to see their grandma (and vice versa), only enough that it is beneficial to everyone. Your kids need you WAAYYYYYY more than they need your mom, so you should concentrate on keeping yourself happy first, then do what you can after that.
Not trying to give advice, just trying to be encouraging. My dad drives me crazy with his bull - but he never wants to see the kids anyway, so it makes my life easier. But I do empathise.


As your stepfather and one who considers you a daughter, I was astonished to discover your screed against your mother on your blog. I can understand that you may count on strangers and friends, reading it, would not know you are rewriting history, but did you really expect anyone who knows your mother to believe your misrepresentations?

What is this emotional terrorist attack you speak of ? That your mother told you to get a grip and stop feeling sorry for yourself? Do you think you should tell your readers that you told her to “fuck off”? And you want her to apologize to you? Don’t you think you owe her an apology?

So you have concluded your mother is jealous of Lisa and your father’s handling of Lisa’s wedding and you “felt terrible about the way (your wedding) played out.” A little history is needed to set the record straight: As I recall, you were feuding with your father at the time of your wedding, and you didn’t want his name on the wedding invitations and didn’t want to invite him. It was your mother who made you send a wedding invitation to your father. Since you were living out of state, you asked your mother to arrange the wedding, which she did, devoting countless hours and many thousands of dollars to it. Ever since, on many occasions, I have heard you and your husband thank her with what I took to be great sincerity for the “best wedding.” Was that all an act?

Like your over-the-top language about your mother’s “emotional terrorist attacks, Hamas, jihad, terrorizing and suicide bombing”? What “terrible things she says or does”? Like sending you airline tickets so you and the kids can attend Lisa’s wedding? Do you think you ought to thank her or at least let her know that you received the tickets? Do you really think your mother telling you to face reality, act like an adult and stop pitying yourself is in the same league with the daily slaughter in the Mideast?

Yet you imply it’s unreasonable of your mother to expect you to “allow” her to see your girls, our precious granddaughters. And you ask: “do I need my kids to carry my mother’s emotional baggage?” I defy you or anyone else on Earth to find one instance when she has been anything other than the most doting grandmother to those kids. And where do you get this idea your mother is “plotting”? I don’t know anyone less calculating and more spontaneous. Your impulse to hurt your mother by denying her access to the kids is unworthy of you. We would all lose if you made that mistake, and it would hurt the children most of all, since they in turn dote on her, and deservedly so.

You ask in your July 10 comments how much therapy you need to work this out, and will your insurance cover it? There’s no better therapy than starting to tell the truth. You are long past the age when you need me to tell you what to do, but I suspect you would feel instant relief by ceasing to spend so much time judging or blaming your mother and instead look closer to home, at yourself. Your rewrite of history and current events is so off the mark that I can only suspect that your medication could be playing havoc with your memory and judgment. It’s not my place to judge, but if you hope to use your blog as therapy, please keep in mind that fact will be more therapeutic than fiction.

Best wishes,


here was email reply:
Hi Tony,

I received your email from Michael. I read it, and added to my collection of lovely letters/emails from Marcella.
I am glad you are reading my blog, however, my blog is my opinion and my space. If you don’t like the things I write, you can email me directly.
What I blog about is my opinion. If you have a differening view, get your own blog and write to your hearts content. You are not helping the situation by personally attacking me.



Granted, I do not know the players in this scenario but I do know what it is like to have difficulties with a parent.

You are the stepfather. This means you were not present during Michele's entire life. Being absent from her life you could not have any direct memory of anything she has experienced. At best, you have second-hand information passed on to you from her mother. This is not neccessarily fact.

My own mother could appear very loving and generous on the outside but everything came at a price. You do not know at what price Michele's experiences have cost.

Just my 2 bits...


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